Family https://raisedbyasingledad.com Thu, 23 Apr 2020 00:45:25 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.1 193374006 1 Rule – Just Show Up https://raisedbyasingledad.com/1-rule-just-show-up/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=1-rule-just-show-up https://raisedbyasingledad.com/1-rule-just-show-up/#comments Thu, 23 Apr 2020 00:45:09 +0000 https://raisedbyasingledad.com/?p=725 This is for all my single dads out there. Really this is for all dads or for any parent. There is really only one rule to being a parent.

JUST SHOW UP

It really is that simple. Kids don’t want much. Heck they don’t understand life. For example, I had no idea if we were poor…rich…we struggled…or knew anything about finances. I had more clothes than my closet could hold. My house was huge…not really but I thought it was. And there is no way that I could eat all the food we had in the kitchen in a month. I played sports, went to sleepovers, had friends at my house, and pretty much got to do what I wanted as long as I followed my dads rules.

I was blessed to have a dad that cared. He worked hard and did all the worrying for me. As I child I do remember one thing. I remember my dad always being there for me. He just showed up. I was never the kid on the field looking for her parent. I was the kid in the dugout being ask who all those people were sitting by my dad. Daddy didn’t just SHOW UP, he brought a fan club. My whole family would come to most of my games.

I’m only here to encourage parents. I mostly talk about single dads…well that’s because, I was raised by one. I’m trying hard to reach people on all kinds of platforms. I recently joined TikTok as well. Check out my video below and feel free to share.

I’m not great making videos but it has been fun and has forced me to get out of my comfort zone. You can also learn more about my personal life by following me on FaceBook, Instagram, Twitter, and now TikTok. Just type in raised by a single dad

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100 or 1 Thing to do at Home https://raisedbyasingledad.com/100-or-1-thing-to-do-at-home/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=100-or-1-thing-to-do-at-home https://raisedbyasingledad.com/100-or-1-thing-to-do-at-home/#respond Sat, 04 Apr 2020 00:32:21 +0000 https://raisedbyasingledad.com/?p=702 Are you stuck in the house with a kid…or two…or three…a husband. Maybe even throw in a dog or two. I don’t have any kids but I am stuck in the house with a dog. I love him dearly and it is nice to have a companion of some sort. Although, every time I get my laptop out he crawls in my lap. He follows me to the bathroom…kitchen…bedroom and still tries to sneak out the door every time it’s opened. He barks at every neighbor that goes by. And his potty time has substantially increased. I am trying not to complain. I do have it pretty good. I don’t have anyone yelling mom or babe at me 7,798,425 times a day. I only have two mouths to feed. I can watch whatever I want…do whatever and I don’t get any complaints about how I am living my life.

Are you tired? Tired of planning every minute of every day. Tired of coming up with activities to keep the littles busy. Tired of planning all the meals, that more than likely no one will eat after you spent so forever in the kitchen.

I know I don’t have kids but remember…I was a kid myself. I also work with kids. I try to give the best advice and believe it or not…I get asked a ton of questions about kids. The most asked question is…how do I play with my child? I say…you were a child once, if you could go back what is it that you would like to do? Do that and you are sure to have fun.

As kids…what is the one thing they hate. RULES. What is one thing they want. TO GROW UP. As adults…what do we want…to be a kid again.

My advice. STOP! Don’t be a parent. For one day…be a kid again and let the kid(s) be the grown ups. Let them be little creators. They get to make all the rules…come up with all the activities…even pick our your outfit for the day and plan all the meals. I promise…your kid(s) will love it. They get to be the boss for a day, and you may even learn a thing or two you didn’t realize about your kid(s).

Fun Fact: My brothers and I would go stay with our grandparents every New Years when we were young. My grandmother would take us shopping and lets us buy whatever we wanted for the party. She would even let us use all her fancy platters to set out all the food. We made menus…decorated the table…took their orders and served them the food. It was some of my favorite memories I have with them.

Who knows…this could become a new tradition for your family.

Happy Quarantining! Stay Safe! Stay Home!

Leave me comments and let me know how your littles boss you for a day.

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8 Things Dads Don’t Understand about their Daughters https://raisedbyasingledad.com/8-things-dads-dont-understand-about-their-daughters/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=8-things-dads-dont-understand-about-their-daughters https://raisedbyasingledad.com/8-things-dads-dont-understand-about-their-daughters/#comments Wed, 11 Mar 2020 23:52:27 +0000 https://raisedbyasingledad.com/?p=688 Girls! What can I say we are emotional. We literally come out of the womb crying. I mean we all do, but girls cry a lot. It has to be hard on dads that don’t understand how we feel, how we think, or what we mean when we say we are “fine.”

I have compiled a list of 8 tips to help dads to understand their daughters a little bit more.

1. We cry for no reason. We sometimes can just get emotional out of the blue for no reason, and we just know that we need to cry. Crying can make us feel better. It’s like crying gets out emotions we aren’t able to explain or understand ourselves. So when your daughter is crying and you ask “why” and she responds with, “I don’t know.” More than likely she is telling you the truth. We can’t always explain why we are upset.

2. Shoes! Shoes! and more Shoes! I am shoe girl myself and we have a certain pair of shoes that go with certain outfits. We can’t just wear the same tennis shoes with every pair of yoga pants. They have to match duh! And the same goes for heels, boots, sandals, ect. We have certain shoes that go with high waisted jeans, boot cut jeans, skinny jeans, cropped pants, shorts, skirts, even swim suits. We need at least two pair of shoes for every one outfit. I mean, it all depends on our mood for the day. Ha!

3. A bad hair day can result in a bad mood all day. How we feel we look are the results of our moods for the day. We will also change our hair a lot. You do know that there are four seasons in a year. Brighter in the spring. Shorter for the summer. Darker for fall and longer in the winter. Or maybe we just broke up with our boyfriend…definitely time for a new do.

4. Boyfriends. We are going to have them. So just get use to the idea. The more you are willing to discuss the idea of our interest in boys, the more open we will tell you about our crushes.

5. Fine. This word can drive a knife into any relationship. Daddy’s, when you hear this for your little girl, it can simply mean…I’m not ready to talk about it. Don’t get mad, just say ok. Try to lighten the conversation, and come back to this topic in which she said, “fine” at a another time. Sometimes we just need to process and feel the situation.

6. Dating. Yes, the day will come when we start dating. Please don’t make jokes about what you are going to do when he shows up. We are just as nervous about the date as you are. We are the ones who had to muster up the courage to ask you if we could go on a date. When he shows up, you say…”what’s your name?, my daughter is my world, she will be returned safely and at a decent hour.” If he hurts her, by all means unleash daddy mode on him!

7. Hormones. The dreaded shark days. We will be moody and unsure of what is happening at first. Be patient. We are also learning all the new changes in our bodies. We will be moody, happy one second and sad the next. We may cry for no reason, revert back to #1. We can logically know what bothers us is stupid, but we can’t control our stupid hormones and how they make us feel.

8. Growing and changing. As life flies by and we are older in a blink of an eye. We realize how hard it is for you to see your baby girl grow up. Just know… We will always be your LITTLE GIRL!

Things to consider.
1. Don’t criticize her for being upset. Try to give her some space, to process what she is feeling. The more you show you care, the more she will tell you.
2. Don’t make her feel bad for liking boys or wanting a boyfriend. Be open with her about boys. Show her how boys should treat her.

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What are Stars? https://raisedbyasingledad.com/what-are-stars/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=what-are-stars https://raisedbyasingledad.com/what-are-stars/#comments Wed, 05 Feb 2020 22:49:11 +0000 https://raisedbyasingledad.com/?p=668 Are stars a two way mirror 
Are stars holes for heaven

If stars are stars 
You’d be so proud

Daddy stayed the course
He tucked us in and kept us safe
He held us close and taught us right
He invested his time and engaged in our life
He remarried and you’d love his new wife

If stars are stars
You’d be so proud

Sam is greatest part of you
He loves hard and wears his heart on his sleeve
He followed your path and became a nurse
He is a daddy to a daughter and she’s four months old 
He is engaged and you’d love his future wife

If stars are stars
You’d be so proud

Matt is medley of you and daddy
He loves like you and works hard like him
He is the most patient and does more others than himself
He is a daddy to a son and he’s almost three 
He is married and you’d love his wife 

If stars are stars
You’d be so proud

I am the greatest part of daddy 
I have the exterior of a lion and a heart of a teddy bear
I am the most stubborn and a true daddy’s girl 
I am a dog mom and he’s already eight
I am single and you live with the creator…help your daughter out

I look up, I can’t see you
When you look down, can you see me

If stars are stars
You’d be so proud

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His Best-friend is Better than a Boyfriend https://raisedbyasingledad.com/his-best-friend-is-better-than-a-boyfriend/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=his-best-friend-is-better-than-a-boyfriend https://raisedbyasingledad.com/his-best-friend-is-better-than-a-boyfriend/#comments Wed, 18 Dec 2019 07:25:09 +0000 https://raisedbyasingledad.com/?p=639 ‘Tis the season. It’s my favorite time of year. I love all things Christmas. A housed filled with the smell of gingerbread cookies. The twinkle of the lights that blink in the night sky. The hustle at the mall as everyone scurries to shop. The magic of the man in the red suit with his rosy red cheeks. Most of all, the reason for the season…Jesus!

It’s also the season of love. Every movie, song, or commercial is a reminder to love your boyfriend. But what about us single ladies. Well friends, I am here to tell you that a furry friend just might be a better choice.

1. UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER CONTEST
First off, your furry friend already has a sweater. Just add a few accessories and you’re good to go. Plus, they will wear whatever you get them. No arguing, and they will be happy to attend all the parties you are invited to.

2. GIFT GIVING
Shopping for the perfect gift is like looking for a needle in a hay stack. What do you buy the guy you just started dating or the guy who has everything? How much do you spend? How much is he spending on me? It’s exhausting! Buying for a furry friend…YOU WIN!! You know exactly what they like. Your gift definitely cost more than what they got you.

3. CHRISTMAS PARTIES
We all know how hard it is to get our man to attend all the Christmas parties. A furry friend will gladly go. They already follow you around the house and miss you all day while you are gone. They are more than happy to leave the house with you for a few hours. You have a true friend to hold your drink with no worries of them taking a sip. And if you have too much to drink, they won’t mind. They will even lay with you in the bathroom floor while you hug the toilet.

4. LAZY CUDDLES
Us ladies like to cuddle, but guys can only handle it for so long. A furry friend is always ready to be by your side. They will never “say no.” Actually, they prefer it, the more the better. They won’t even complain about all the Hallmark movies.

5. LEFTOVERS
When there’s two, you have to share. Lucky for you…a furry friend is most likely allergic to the goodies you brought home. The cheesy potatoes, green bean casserole, and chocolate pie is all yours. No sharing for you, and better yet…no one to judge just how much pie you actually ate.

To all my single ladies out there…don’t fret. Christmas is all about you this year. A furry friend will always yes and they have a judgement free zone. For those that are coupled up…sorry! This may be your last year together. Ha! Just kidding, but seriously…his best-friend is better than a boyfriend!

NO FURRY FRIENDS WERE INJURED IN THE TAKING OF PICTURES. CAN’T SAY THE SAME FOR MY PHONE – IT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE DROPPED IN THE TOILET!

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Learning to Love My Journey https://raisedbyasingledad.com/learning-to-love-my-journey/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=learning-to-love-my-journey https://raisedbyasingledad.com/learning-to-love-my-journey/#respond Wed, 04 Dec 2019 07:32:02 +0000 https://raisedbyasingledad.com/?p=629 As a young girl I couldn’t wait to grow up. I have always been very independent. As soon as I started walking…I was pretty much on my own. Not really…my parents were there, but for me…I had life figured out. I mean…I could walk…I was free and life was just beginning for me. Soon after…I was dressing myself…I can brush my own hair…I can do it “by myself.” If only my parents had a dollar for every time I said that.

The independence never stopped, neither did dreaming about tomorrow. I couldn’t wait to be old enough to spend the night with friends. I would fight with my brothers and daddy and couldn’t wait to move out. I wanted to be sixteen, eighteen, in college, then twenty-one. See the pattern. I was so focused on tomorrow and what my future held, that I would forget to live in today.

I let the future of tomorrow ruin my life for such a long time. It ruined relationships or could have been a blessing in disguise. Either way, it caused problems. I watched the clock tick at work just to rush home. Counted down the days until girls night. I was looking for the next big event that was happening in my life.

You know the saying…”you aren’t guaranteed tomorrow.” I have heard that all my life but one day I woke up and it really hit me hard. I realized that part of my unhappiness was because I wasn’t enjoying living in the moment.

“Do not delude yourself, tomorrow is not guaranteed; and even if good fortune brings you your tomorrow, there is no guarantee those you love will be a part of it. Do not squander your precious, limited time. Value what love you have in your life – nothing is more valuable. Make it known to those who matter.”
― Wayne Gerard Trotman

At 37, I’m very happy with my life. I love the journey of living daily and not expecting what tomorrow holds. I am not perfect at it and I still struggle at times. I have learned to enjoy the ride and tackle each day on it’s own. I have slowed down and try to take in each minute. There is great relief in knowing that God has my future. All the good comes from God and the struggles are lessons to be learned.

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Family Traditions https://raisedbyasingledad.com/family-traditions/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=family-traditions https://raisedbyasingledad.com/family-traditions/#respond Wed, 20 Nov 2019 09:04:06 +0000 https://raisedbyasingledad.com/?p=620 Fall is here is ya’ll. In Tennessee that means, go outside and check the weather before you pick your outfit for the day. This time last week, I woke up to a snow covered car and yesterday it was sixty one degrees outside. I have even experienced all four seasons in one week. I can’t rely on the weather to be consistent, but family traditions…that holds a special place in my heart.

My family is consistent. And by that I mean…I can tell you on January 1st, when, where, and what time my family will get together for the whole year. Yes…I said that correctly…the whole year. I also know the family dinner for each meal for every holiday. Which family member will bring what side dish or dessert. We will gather at different tables to eat because there will be 25 -30 of us eating at any given holiday. I know who sits with who and what they will talk about. My family is consistent!

When I talk about “my family” that doesn’t just mean my parents, brothers, their wives and kids. “My family” is my grandparents, their 3 kids, their 3 kids, kids, and their 3 kids, kids, kids. That’s totally confusing but funny! Let me be clear. My grandparents, aunts, uncles, brothers, cousins, nieces and nephews. Some times we bring extra friends, a boyfriend, neighbors, or more extended family will show up.

Our holidays aren’t just about eating either. Each holiday comes with its own traditions. The meals have a different menu. The locations are held at different houses. Some family members might be elsewhere, and the games we play could vary depending on the weather outside.

First, I’ll start with the family rules. 1. We pray before every meal. 2. We eat at set time for dinner. For example, if dinner is at say…5:00pm. At exactly 5:00pm, the host for the meal will gather the family…appointed family member will pray and then we will eat. IF YOU ARE NOT THERE, WE WILL START WITHOUT YOU! It’s a long running joke in the family…we told you what time we were eating, you should have gotten here on time! And that goes for every holiday.

Second, I’ll let you in on the tardiness of my family. NO ONE IS LATE! Like ever. Ok, maybe some are late, but late for my family isn’t late for most families. Late means, you showed at 4:30pm for a 5:00pm meal. Yes, in my family showing up thirty minutes before a meal, starts gossip. Where are they? Are they coming? They are going to be late? Don’t they know we are eating at 5:00pm? If we have a 5:00pm mean, you can bet your money someone is going to show up at 3:00pm. Yes…possibly 2 hours before the meal starts. You may not even be dressed yourself for the event you are hosting at your own house. And your holiday event will be over when…well, when the last one leaves. Duh? That could be up to 4 hours after the dinner is over. Why am I so specific? Well I am usually the last one to leave. Haha!

Lastly, I’ll tell you…I’m not like most people. I don’t dread all the family, the holidays, the travel, the cooking and the stress of making a holiday special. I am single but I do have a dog. I still feel guilty when I have to leave him alone. I can travel up to an hour for an family event depending on where it is. I enjoy driving and I don’t have kids or a mate yelling at me. I don’t do the cooking, but I am bringing a dish this year. I don’t have to host, my place is too small, and that leaves no stress to clean. So maybe I don’t have as much to worry about. But to me, that’s not what it’s all about. It’s about being able to brag about my family. I LOVE my family. I take to heart that I have had the same family traditions for 37 years. It’s being able to grow up with a family that’s consistent.

IT’S 37 YEARS OF CONSTANT LOVE!

What are your family traditions?

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