Are you tired? Tired of planning every minute of every day. Tired of coming up with activities to keep the littles busy. Tired of planning all the meals, that more than likely no one will eat after you spent so forever in the kitchen.

I know I don’t have kids but remember…I was a kid myself. I also work with kids. I try to give the best advice and believe it or not…I get asked a ton of questions about kids. The most asked question is…how do I play with my child? I say…you were a child once, if you could go back what is it that you would like to do? Do that and you are sure to have fun.

As kids…what is the one thing they hate. RULES. What is one thing they want. TO GROW UP. As adults…what do we want…to be a kid again.

My advice. STOP! Don’t be a parent. For one day…be a kid again and let the kid(s) be the grown ups. Let them be little creators. They get to make all the rules…come up with all the activities…even pick our your outfit for the day and plan all the meals. I promise…your kid(s) will love it. They get to be the boss for a day, and you may even learn a thing or two you didn’t realize about your kid(s).

Fun Fact: My brothers and I would go stay with our grandparents every New Years when we were young. My grandmother would take us shopping and lets us buy whatever we wanted for the party. She would even let us use all her fancy platters to set out all the food. We made menus…decorated the table…took their orders and served them the food. It was some of my favorite memories I have with them.

Who knows…this could become a new tradition for your family.

Happy Quarantining! Stay Safe! Stay Home!

Leave me comments and let me know how your littles boss you for a day.

I have compiled a list of 8 tips to help dads to understand their daughters a little bit more.

1. We cry for no reason. We sometimes can just get emotional out of the blue for no reason, and we just know that we need to cry. Crying can make us feel better. It’s like crying gets out emotions we aren’t able to explain or understand ourselves. So when your daughter is crying and you ask “why” and she responds with, “I don’t know.” More than likely she is telling you the truth. We can’t always explain why we are upset.

2. Shoes! Shoes! and more Shoes! I am shoe girl myself and we have a certain pair of shoes that go with certain outfits. We can’t just wear the same tennis shoes with every pair of yoga pants. They have to match duh! And the same goes for heels, boots, sandals, ect. We have certain shoes that go with high waisted jeans, boot cut jeans, skinny jeans, cropped pants, shorts, skirts, even swim suits. We need at least two pair of shoes for every one outfit. I mean, it all depends on our mood for the day. Ha!

3. A bad hair day can result in a bad mood all day. How we feel we look are the results of our moods for the day. We will also change our hair a lot. You do know that there are four seasons in a year. Brighter in the spring. Shorter for the summer. Darker for fall and longer in the winter. Or maybe we just broke up with our boyfriend…definitely time for a new do.

4. Boyfriends. We are going to have them. So just get use to the idea. The more you are willing to discuss the idea of our interest in boys, the more open we will tell you about our crushes.

5. Fine. This word can drive a knife into any relationship. Daddy’s, when you hear this for your little girl, it can simply mean…I’m not ready to talk about it. Don’t get mad, just say ok. Try to lighten the conversation, and come back to this topic in which she said, “fine” at a another time. Sometimes we just need to process and feel the situation.

6. Dating. Yes, the day will come when we start dating. Please don’t make jokes about what you are going to do when he shows up. We are just as nervous about the date as you are. We are the ones who had to muster up the courage to ask you if we could go on a date. When he shows up, you say…”what’s your name?, my daughter is my world, she will be returned safely and at a decent hour.” If he hurts her, by all means unleash daddy mode on him!

7. Hormones. The dreaded shark days. We will be moody and unsure of what is happening at first. Be patient. We are also learning all the new changes in our bodies. We will be moody, happy one second and sad the next. We may cry for no reason, revert back to #1. We can logically know what bothers us is stupid, but we can’t control our stupid hormones and how they make us feel.

8. Growing and changing. As life flies by and we are older in a blink of an eye. We realize how hard it is for you to see your baby girl grow up. Just know… We will always be your LITTLE GIRL!

Things to consider.
1. Don’t criticize her for being upset. Try to give her some space, to process what she is feeling. The more you show you care, the more she will tell you.
2. Don’t make her feel bad for liking boys or wanting a boyfriend. Be open with her about boys. Show her how boys should treat her.

I might have lost my mom, but God gave me a dozen more. Some have played their part and are viewing from the balcony. Two have gained their angel wings. The others are there answering any time I call. I also have new “moms” popping up and helping me out when God knows I need one

Below are the other half of my dozen plus one “moms.”

Mama Jaco – I believe most people call her Sissy and I honestly don’t know her real name. I have called her Mama Jaco from day one. Her daughter Jessica went by her last name Jaco, so she was Mama Jaco. She was really everyone’s mom. I think her name came from our other friend Amanda. Mama Jaco always made sure we were fed. She cooked for us all the time. Every morning I woke up at her house, she made me chocolate gravy. And I stayed at her house a lot. It was my second home in high school.

Granny – My daddy’s mom. She lived close by and her house was also a second home. She spoiled me rotten. She gave me all the cokes, candy, and snacks I wanted. She also got me, my brothers, and cousins a trampoline. I am surprised we all survived the trampoline without any broken bones. She definitely let me have fun, but she kept me in line. She also wanted me to know how to act like a lady. Yes ma’am and thank you were required. She even talked my daddy into making me go to Junior Cotillion. That’s where you learn to ballroom dance, set a proper table, and all about manners. Needless to say, I didn’t like it and I complained so much  that they didn’t make me go back. Now, I surprise others on how nice I can make a table look. I also got first place in the fox trot once. Granny is in the running with my daddy for my biggest fan. She was there for most of my games, proms, graduations, and anything else I told her about. And since I have been writing, I have messages from her and my daddy every Wednesday. 

Dottie – She is my step-mom. She and my daddy starting dating when I was young and gotten married in 2005. I think. She is the one that kept us fed. Don’t worry my daddy fed us to but she was always cooking for us or bringing something for us to eat. She use to make the dresses I wore to church, made my fifth grade graduation dress, and my senior prom dress. She has done a lot for me. She has currently moved from my seamstress, to my photographer. She has taken all the recent pictures of me that I use for my blogging.

Dorris – Her daughter Julie, was my first friend at my new school in tenth grade. We immediately bonded and became best friends. I spent a lot of time at Dorris’ house and she soon became mom. She was brutally honest, but I could talk to her about anything. I would call her house and say hi mom, can I talk to Julie please. She took me in as a second daughter. Julie would sometimes joke that her mom liked me more than her.

Brenda – She is a new mom that has recently come into my life. She is my current best friend’s mom. I call her Mama B. She has taken me in like she has known me forever. She is fun to talk to and always makes me laugh. She is usually a part of girls night and listens to all our drama without any judgement. I am still in amazement at how quickly she has let me be a part of her family in the short time we have known each other.

Nana – My mom’s mom. She’s funny, a storyteller and has more faith than anyone I have ever met. She was another grandmother that spoiled me rotten. When I was a kid, she gave me and my brothers whatever we wanted. She got in the floor with us and played, would shoot spit wads back at us, and let us turn her table into a tent. We basically tore her house apart. She would tell us scary stories in the dark and scream just like a witch. And she taught me how to cook. She has the biggest heart, and the person I go to when I need prayer. My faith comes from her. I still haven’t had a conversation with here where she hasn’t mentioned God at least 4 times. She can quote the Bible like no other, and has asked me to go look up certain stories that would help me. She tells me stories about my mom and has given me things my mom made her. I am 36 and I still sit in her lap so she can rub my back. I am the goofiest and my truest self around her. 

Tracy – She’s my daddy’s sister. She’s heard all my drama. And I mean all of it. From fights with my daddy to breakups with boys. When I would fight with my daddy, she’d let me get it all out and just listen. And she was usually on his side. Ugh! Since I’ve been able to drive, I have spent just as much time at her house as I have my own. She knows when I am ready to listen to her and hear that I am wrong. She lets me cry out my feelings then tells me it’s time to move on. She doesn’t always agree with the decisions I make but she respects them and still loves me. She taught me all about a period and took me to my first female doctors appointment. She helped me pick out my prom dress and did my make up. She has always been there and is the first “mom” I will call when I need advice. She is the one that makes me talk about my mom and keeps her spirit alive.

Thank you to each of these “moms” that have helped me get through life. All of you have had an impact on me more than you realize. My mom would be so grateful to know that she didn’t leave me alone to do life. She had other women step up and help her out, when she couldn’t be there. I was once told that my mom asked my dad to remarry after she passed so I wouldn’t grow up without a mom. My daddy didn’t remarry till I was twenty-three, but I wasn’t left to grow up without a mom, thanks to all of you. God gives us what we want, maybe just not how we expect it. He answered my moms prayers by given me a dozen plus one moms.

Thank you God for giving me more than my mom asked for. And most importantly thank you for giving me a daddy that accepted these women to be in my life.

God has perfect timing. I don’t agree with His time, but His time is honest and true. He has put my other “moms” in my life exactly when I needed them most. Some have played their part and are viewing from the balcony. Two have gained their angel wings. The others are there answering any time I call. I also have new “moms” popping up and helping me out when God knows I need one. 

Here are some shout outs to the past, present, and future moms. 

Joyce – She grew up with my mom and had 3 daughters the same age as me and my brothers. Her middle was one of my best childhood friends. She definitely treated me like her own. I also had to pay her ten cents if we didn’t have our seat belt on by the time we got out of her driveway. I didn’t have ten cents, and I wasn’t about to ask my daddy for that money. Not only did she keep me safe, when Anna and I would fight, we had to hug it out. She taught me to apologize. 

Lynn – She was my softball coach in my younger years; or let’s be real, my daddy was my coach. He was the parent that told the coaches what to do with me. Good cop, bad cop….Lynn was the good cop. She was there when I was mad at my dad for making me try things I didn’t want to. She was a big influence in my softball days.

Susie – My daddy’s sister in law. She’s the one that will fight anyone if they talk bad about me. She’s nice and sweet and usually has the best things to say about someone. She’s very well liked by her peers. Just don’t ask her about the time a boy at school made fun of me for not having a mom. She’s a lover not a fighter. But she told me to punch him if he said it again. She’s also always been there for me and will help me out any way she can. She’s was at most of my games and anything I asked her to come to.

Janie “mom” – She’s the first one I called mom after my birth mother died. I didn’t call her that a lot in front of others, but I did at her house. She had a daughter, Amy. She was my very best friend. I’d spend the night with Amy a lot. Out of all the “moms” in my life, she was most like my birth mom. Maybe that’s why I called her mom. Maybe I did because Amy did and I just wanted to call someone mom. She was so much fun and let us pretty much do whatever we wanted at her house.

Cathy – She was a “mom” I met later in life. I called her Mama C. Her daughter, Heather and I worked together and we got to be best friends. On Bachelor, Bachelorette, or Bachelor in Paradise nights; we would go to Cathy’s house and watch it. As time went on we invited more and more of our friends. Some nights we had over 10 people. It kinda turned into our thing. We didn’t get off work till eight most nights and we were starving. She always made sure we were fed.

Janet – My mom’s sister. She was a travel nurse when we were kids and was gone a lot. She also live about two hours from us. Even though she wasn’t present in my every day life she was and is always there. She made sure I had all the girl things I needed. She bought me enough make up to last for months. She also made sure I had plenty of clothes and purses. As I got older we hung out more, and well those stories are for another time. I am pretty goofy around her and can tell her anything. She might have lived far away but she always made it to my important events.

Monday May 25, 1992 was the day that changed my parent’s life forever. Mama woke up that morning with a lot of back pain and could barely walk. Daddy had to help her get up and around. Not having pervious back pain or doing anything to hurt her back; my parents were shocked that my mom was in so much pain.

It was Memorial Day, an American holiday reserved for men and women who died while serving in the military. Many American’s observe this holiday by having parades, visiting cemeteries or memorials, having family gatherings, or attending town events. Mt. Pleasant use to host a big event at the high school football field. Tickets were sold and almost the whole town would be there. There was a big stage for a concert with a new and upcoming music artist. Tents were also set up to buy silly toys, food, red white and blue lights, and who knows what else.

Well, Mama was suppose to work the ticket booth for this event but she could barely walk. Daddy had to help her get around and take a chair for her to sit in. The pain only got worse through the day and she decided to go to the doctor the next day. Her doctor did a normal physical exam but couldn’t find a problem. He was startled at the fact that she was only 34 and was in so much pain. Mama was a nurse and took good care of herself. Since it was such a mystery, the doctor told her to take a week off and try to build her way up to walking a mile. She did exactly what he said, but as the week went on, she only got worse. She could only walk maybe 20 yards. She went back to the doctor the following week. He was in shock with the decline in her health. This was just not normal so he ordered a CT Scan. On Monday, two weeks later; Daddy took her to the hospital to get tested. She worked there, so she had her friend and her doctor do the test for her. Daddy wanted to stay but Mama insisted she was okay and told him to go to work. She said she would call him if she needed him. The scan came back with the result of cancer. They were all so shocked! She called Daddy, but he was on his lunch break playing basketball at the gym. A friend went to get him to let him know he was needed at the hospital. Daddy left immediately. He walked into the room and her first words were, “I am not ready to die.”

The cancer was in her shoulder, chest, and hip. It had already metastasized and began to spread. The cancer had been eating away at her hip and that was the reason she had a hard time walking. Daddy still didn’t know what to do about the situation. He went to the doctor and said, “I need you to just tell me what is going on and what I need to do.” The doctor told him he had found some the cancer but he didn’t know where it originated. He said, “If I can’t find where it originated, then she won’t be here Thanksgiving.” More test were run and finally found out that the cancer was coming from one of her kidneys. Her health was getting worse and her doctor decided to do an arterial embolization. This blocks the blood flow to the kidney. He thought this would help but it didn’t. Daddy asked the doctor, “What now?” He replied, “If it was my wife or mother I’d take her home. Make her as comfortable as possible and just spend quality time with her.” Mama refused and said she wanted to go to MD Anderson in Texas for experimental treatment. So they left for Texas.

When Daddy knew how bad it was he told me and my brothers that Mama was really sick and she might not get better. I didn’t really understand and I honestly just wanted to continue playing. We didn’t ask any questions, and what is a parent suppose to after that? So shortly after, I was back to playing outside and doing cartwheels in the yard. That was a hard summer for my family although I didn’t really know what was going on. Mama spent a lot of her time in Texas and my Daddy was with her when he could be. My brothers and I stayed at my grandparents a lot. Mama did come home once and we made a big welcome home sign for her. Mounds of friends and family I didn’t know started showing up at our house to visit. With each visit people brought food. Some would even ask me what I wanted, so I responded with mac and cheese and chocolate pie. I had more mac and cheese and chocolate pie than a family of five needed. I thought it was great! My brothers and I would also receive gifts. We got a video camera; the hand held one that sit on your shoulder it was so big. It was nice; we were able to record some last moments with my mom. Someone also gave us three stuff animals. We all still have those animals; mine was a bear with a rattle in it.

Mama was a tough one, maybe one of the strongest women I have ever met. She was so sick. She needed help getting up and down, walking around and even bathing. Every friend that came to see her, she wouldn’t let cry or she would make them leave. I was lying on the bed with my mom one day when one of her best friends came to visit. She walked in, saw us and tears started to form in her eyes. Mama stopped her and said, “If you are going to cry, you need to leave. I don’t cry about what’s happening to me and neither will you. I have to be strong for my kids and they won’t see us crying.” I can honestly say, I only saw Mama cry once after she got sick. She was laying on at the couch and God Bless the USA was playing on the TV. I was sitting on the floor next to her while playing with her hair. I said, “I can’t wait to see what you look like with gray hair.” In that moment, a single tear rolled down her cheek. I asked, “Mama, why are you crying?” She just smiled and said, “I just love you so much and I want you to know how much you mean to me.”

Soon after Mama’s visit home, she was back in Texas. She was getting worse and time was fading fast. She requested that my brothers and I come see her so she could say her goodbyes. I didn’t know that’s why we were going, I was just told that she missed us and wanted to see us. We flew to Texas and Daddy prepared me that she was going to have a lot of tubes in her, but not to be scared. When I walked in she had the biggest smile on her face and in her soft faint voice she said, “hi.” I crawled into bed with her for a bit, got a big hug and one last kiss.

We were soon on our way home; back to school, games, and the normalcy of our lives. My family did keep our lives as normal as possible. On September 15th Mama lost her battle. It was almost 3 months to the day that she was diagnosed. Daddy was able to be with her that day. My brothers and I were with our grandparents. When Daddy came home, he told us Mama had died. I am not sure I knew what that mean at the time, but I saw my family crying, so I did too. I don’t really remember much after that.

This is my story, told to me by Daddy. This is why I was raised by a single dad.