Life’s a dance, you learn as you go. Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow. Don’t worry about what you don’t know. Yea, I know you just sang that like the song. Ha-ha! I like this song a lot and it does have some truth to it. Sometimes you do lead, but I believe most of us are followers until we are eighteenth or move out of our parent’s house. Or at least that’s how it was for me. If you have followed my blogging journey the last few months, you know I was raised by my dad. My post has mostly consisted of funny, heartwarming, or encouraging stories. I have only posted my perfect online life. You can read my story and think that I had a great, perfect life. I had the perfect dad, who had the perfect daughter. Don’t get me wrong, I did have both of those things. I had (have) a great life and dad. The perfect daughter…well, I have already said that I was a brat. Probably more times than I’d like to admit. I am here to tell you that Daddy and I didn’t have the perfect relationship.

Growing up I was a follower. Not so much in the outside world but at home. Daddy was pretty strict. Homework had to be done immediately after school, chores, basketball drills and a workout. All of this had to be done before I could play. Work then play was his motto. Let’s just not tell my dad that I skipped the basketball drills and workout most days. Ha! Sorry Dad. Maybe that’s why I only played basketball till tenth grade. Did I mention I had chores. And I don’t mean just taking the trash out. I had to fold all the laundry, unload the dishwasher, and sweep and dust mop all the floors. Those were just my daily chores. I also had some weekly and monthly chores. Looking back, I can understand why I had to do a lot of housework, but as a ten year old I hated it. Daddy did hire a house cleaner once, but we could never find anything. I did tell him that I would clean if he paid me, so I guess I asked for it.

I wasn’t allowed to call boys on the phone, wear spaghetti strapped shirts and my shorts had to be long. I had to be off the phone by 9. My curfew was 10. You spoke when spoken to. You said hello when you walked in the door. You made eye contact when you talked to someone and you called everyone yes ma’am or yes sir. It was his house. He made the rules and I did what he said. I didn’t ask questions, and it only took me a few hundred times to learn to do what he said the first time he asked. And it wasn’t pretty when he had to ask more than once. Like I said, I was stubborn. My brothers and I never told on each other, because when one of us got in trouble, we all got in trouble. That’s more due to my dad didn’t know who to believe so we would all just get punished.

My dad and I struggled. We fought, we yelled, we cried and I would go days without talking to him. He was raising the female version of himself. I was hard-headed, a teenager, and I knew everything. We had to agree to disagree a lot. I also think some of our struggles, were he was guy and I was a girl. We were a lot alike and but our brains were wired differently. We all know how different guys and girls think. I couldn’t get him to see my side and I wasn’t even going to listen to his side.

Life doesn’t come with an instruction book to tell you who you are, what you’re going to do in life, or how your life is going to turn out. Daddy didn’t know he was going to be a single parent. I didn’t know my mom wasn’t going to be here forever. We both did the best we could. My daddy was tough, and I am thankful for that now. Life is a dance. We do learn as we go. I did follow, but it made me a leader. We try not to worry, but that’s easier said than done.

Parents….don’t give up on your kids. There will be hard times. It may be hours, days, weeks, or years away but if you keep trying, pushing, and encouraging your kids; it will pay off. Remember, you are older and have so much life experience. You do know best, but it doesn’t matter how much you try to make them understand; they just won’t get it till they experience it for themselves. Kids…listen to your parents. They really do know best. You won’t understand their reasoning, but as soon as you learn to take their advice, the easier life will become. There is a reason why we call the old wise.